~FirstSarge

Le Roi de le Russes

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About Literature / Professional Member Roi R. CzechvalaMale/United States

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Damn Kids Graham Banyon was enjoying a television retrospective, "2012: The Mayans Were Right and Other Crackpot Beliefs", when a tremendous explosion rocked the house. "Damn kids," he muttered. With a weary sigh he rose from his chair and walked to the back door. He looked up at the moon hanging low in the sky. The last orange rays of the sun waned lazily in the west.

"What the hell are you kids doing out there," he half heartedly bellowed at a scarred and slightly smoking tool shed. The shed had a slightly guilty look he thought.

"Just a little experiment in cold fusion, Pop," said the shed amidst a flurry of childish giggles.

"Cold fusion doDamn Kids by ~FirstSarge

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eHarmony.com "You know,... look, I didn't think anything of those computer dating sites. I thought they were just places to look to hook up." David squirmed. His hands were sweaty on the wheel. Oh my god, he thought. Did I put on too much cologne? Don't screw up. Don't screw up. "I mean, I want to start this on an honest basis and I sort of... well, I actually was looking for..."

"A booty call?" Stephanie laughed. "Come on, you spent three months getting up the courage to ask me out. Not that I hadn't dropped a few hints that I wanted you to ask."

"Yeah, I suppose the restaurant coupons you kept suggesting as a "friend" should have been a eHarmony.com by ~FirstSarge

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The Crucible by ~FirstSarge

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Back in the Heart of Texas"What's the point?" 1st Lentil Glorp asked as he deftly cut out the anus of an apparently very unhappy cow.

Lentil 2nd class, Skcizzicks, mentally shrugged and replied, "Well, it's to make a bit, isn't it?" Skcizzicks carefully removed the cows left eyeball. The cow was less than pleased.

"No, I mean why are we doing this? That's what I'm on about. What the hell sense does this make? We shoot around a planet full of emerging sentients, shove a glorph up their asses, give their testicals a good squeeze, paint them in glowing ooze and set them down in the middle of nowhere? Is this what I went to college for?"

Skcizzicks looked up from hiBack in the Heart of Texas by ~FirstSarge

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~FirstSarge

FirstSarge
Artist | Professional | Literature

United States

Just a simple country boy.

Current Residence: Tyler Texas
Print preference: New Times Roman
Favourite genre of music: Country
Favourite style of art: Surreal/Deco
Operating System: A board certified surgical team.
MP3 player of choice: Is that like the running back?
Shell of choice: Scallop
Wallpaper of choice: Fleur -des-lis
Skin of choice: Mine, though I do tend to get under others.
Favourite cartoon character: Spider-Man
Personal Quote: "Any day above ground is a good day."

Interests

WOW!! YOU ALL SUCK

Journal Entry: Tue Apr 16, 2013, 7:27 AM

You hate me for being an America, then you destroy life. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

Treeline: by #resurgere

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~blackstrike Feb 28, 2013 Professional Photographer

It took you that long to come up with an answer? So it's true - all you republicunts are dumb. No wonder you hold a rifle on your profile photo - you have no dick.

~FirstSarge Mar 5, 2013 Professional Writer

Dude, I don't think we can keep this up. I fear we have (my fault) gone beyond the simple attack and made this absurd.

I did enjoy writing yesterdays reply, but I feel that we have taken it as far as we can. (I am sorry about your crack whore mother though).

To keep it interesting, if possible, I suggest you attack my Texan and/or my Russian heritage, whilst I go after that faggy, wispy almost girl like beard and your obvious weight problem.

Cheers,

P.S. Pouty lips such as yours, I have only seen on Angelina Jolie, Hannah Davis and homosexuals. Congrats. As an open minded person of the twenty first century, I salute you on your many male/male relations and would like to offer you a coupon for 10 (ten) percent (%) off your next 55 gallon drum of Vaseline.

P.P.S.

I further would like to apologise to you for thinking badly of you that you dress up like a little fanboy. [link] .

You already must feel pathetic without me rubbing it in. I am truly sorry.

~blackstrike Mar 5, 2013 Professional Photographer

If you can't keep it up, get a Viagra, pup. Me, I have no problem with that. Any time your brainless persona needs a good bashing, you can gobble on my penis. I'm always glad to donate my bodily fluids to my favorite bitch.

As far as your alleged Russian heritage, your mom sucking dicks in Gorky Park for a few rubles doesn't mean you have Russian blood in you. More like sperm. Take a Kleenex and wipe it of your lips, pup, you don't have to emulate your mom in everything.

As for my looks, I'm sure that closet gay like you has a lot of fashion tips etc, but real men don't bother much with that. They also don't pose with weapons to show everyone how (allegedly) tough they are. That is called "overcompensation" and you should look it up, pup. Nice hat, by the way - it perfectly hides your dick shaped head.

P.S. As you can see, we have a lot of fun on cruises. You're welcome to join ANY cruise ship - I'm sure that you would be a joy to many gay dancers onboard. You wouldn't even have to wear a butt plug anymore, they'd make sure that you're always plugged!

~FirstSarge Mar 5, 2013 Professional Writer

Dude,

Okay, I give. I know that in the new century that you have the right to look like a little pussy with that wispy little beard and fat pouty lips.

So you like to take it in the ass. Who cares any more? Why are you so militant and why do you hide your extreme fetishes by attacking others?

So you have a small dick? Ralph Nader and Obama have thin lips, they will accomodate you.

I am sorry you feel slighted. I did not mean to make you feel ill at ease with your obvious shortcomings.

With your tiny little dick, I suggest that you fuck the gerbils as opposed to letting them loose in your rectum.

Live and let live I say... Just not in my neighbourhood. Stay in France.

~FirstSarge Mar 4, 2013 Professional Writer

You poor ignorant needle dick. The reason It took so long to get back is that I have a life and don't live on the computer watching kiddie porn as you do. I imagine you sit there for hours in your crack addict mothers basement watching ten year olds get raped while you tug your pathetic shriveled dick.

I do forgive you though, it must be rough knowing that while you are blowing your wad on a cracker to eat later, your mother is upstairs blowing syphalytic cocks for a rock.
AHAHAHAHA.

Go away pedophile. You are a minor irritant.

~blackstrike Mar 4, 2013 Professional Photographer

Oh, you silly little retard. Did you forget to take your pills again, you're talking nonsense. I figured out why it took you so long to answer - they finally let you out for weekend from whatever mental institution your incestuous family locked you in, huh? Still trying to hump your disabled grandma? Listen, I'll let you on a secret - if you keep trying to breed with your own offspring (as you do), results might be less than desirable, to say at least. Just look how you turned out - even your mother doesn't love you. When I look at you, I can see family resemblance - you look a little like your uncle, your uncle's father in law, your neighbor, your neighbor's dog, that donkey from farm next to one you grow up on etc. Man, your mom was busy, huh? Go stuck your rifle up your ass and pull a trigger with your toe - you'll save us all banality of your pathetic existence and you will raise average IQ of human raise for a few points.

~FirstSarge Mar 5, 2013 Professional Writer

I apologise for what I have said. I should never have made such disparaging remarks about your mothers fellating disease ridden cocks to get the rent money to support your pathetic lifestyle. I feel sorry for you that she spent it on meth and rock instead of paying for your internet porn and Cheeto's. I can only imagine how lonely you felt pulling at your tiny pud stained orange from your fat little grimy fingers.

I hope you will forgive me. I can't imagine what it must be like to be sodomized by your father. The familial betrayal you must have felt when he told you to "squeal like a pig" when he molested you in the woods near your home, a broken down tar paper shack.

I shudder at the pain you must have felt, on your knees satisfying him orally after he beat up your disease ridden mother whose only claim to fame was blowing fifty two truckers at the Flying J in 17 minutes.

The fact that you were born with only one, dry, shrivelled little testicle must only add to the shame that you must feel.

Again, in summation, I wish again to apologise for making light of your insignificant life as I have so callously done. Though I don't know what it is like to beg in the gutter while mongrels piss on my herpes ridden body, I empathise with you.

Keep your stick on the ice (if you can rise to your knees after that last BJ marathon of yours when you tried to make enough money for a 99 cent cheeseburger at McDonald's).

My best wishes.

I pray that your suffering ends and that you die a swift and mostly painless death.

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